Wednesday, December 16, 2020

                                                           MONTH OF GIVING

(Details below)

As 2020 comes to a close, you will find me scrambling to get everything done. I’m one who likes to close one chapter (year) and begin the New Year with a clean slate. I’m already ahead of the game and have found my 2021 calendar online.
 
The other day I filled in the birthdays, anniversaries, and special occasions. And because I tend towards being organized, I wrote down jobs I needed to do too (i.e., date to send my newsletter, schedule what I’m working on, etc.).
 
SIDE NOTE: I have to speak to the list makers. In 2020, I found a handy tool on my computer that screamed, “well done, good and faithful servant.” The item was a tiny checkmark. When I used it, after completing a task, I felt so accomplished. I’ll be implementing it again in 2021 because it’s helpful and so darn cute.
 
Another activity I will place on my calendar are days where hubby and I go scooterpooping. If I’ve not mentioned this word before – it’s a Messmer expression. It’s meaning: goofing off. One of my characters, Rose Wilford, likes to say, “stop and smell the petunias.”
 
Take it from me, it’s fun to set the important stuff aside and enjoy the day – whatever we decide to do. Hubby and I love to jump in the car and take a drive. Find new places to explore and take tons of pictures. 

Yes, it’s another Arizona sunset, but I can’t help myself when I see them. I take my phone out and click away, adding them to my other thousand, or so, I’ve already taken. What is your favorite subject to photograph? Kids, grandkids, pets, scenery?

Mine is our pooch. Last year, in my newsletter, I shared a picture of Maggie wearing earmuffs. But the one above is from a few weeks ago. Our friend snapped it, and we think it is the cutest photo EVER. You’re welcome. :)
 
Oh, there’s one more thing! Since it’s almost Christmas, I wanted to spread some cheer around. HO! HO! HO! Email me by December 31, and I’ll put you in a drawing to win one of my signed books. I’ll announce the FIVE winners in my January newsletter.
 
PS: In your email, tell me the name you want the book signed to and the address where to mail it. Easy Peasy!
 
Here’s the list to choose from:
Early Birds (or any in the series)
Pigtails and a Tool Belt
Waltzing with a Grease Monkey
God’s Grace in the Grumbling

Until next time…

 
Blessings!

Janetta Fudge Messmer - Author of Christian Comedy

“Turning Life Into Comedy”

Wednesday, November 25, 2020

 TEACHING MOMENTS


HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!! And because it’s 2020, we know our festivities with family and friends will look a little different this year. But that’s okay, we can still make memories and thank the Lord for His many blessings.
 
In this newsletter, I’m starting with Writing News: Last month I asked you to email me about my latest devotional project. Lots of you answered the call and today I picked two winners who will receive a copy of God’s Grace in Our Grumbling.
 
THE WINNERS ARE – Jane Stubbs and Joan Hicks. Ladies, please email me your address so I can send you a copy of my new book. And thanks to everyone for your emails and encouraging words. HUGS to all!!!

And who knew I’d need your uplifting words. Since I announced the release of my devotional book on grumbling, I’ve done more complaining than I thought was possible for any human being. You may have heard me screaming, “Lord, if this is a test – I’m failing big time.”

If these words sound familiar, and we’re honest with ourselves, this year has thrown us under the bus, ran over us, and returned for a second shot. We’re frustrated and left to wonder what will happen next?

I don’t have a clue what’s next, but I know the One who does. Even when I’m over-the-top annoyed, the Lord gives me His grace, which I can then give to another person. Let me give you an example.

Ray and I stayed in a hotel last weekend. In the wee hours of the morning, we had the privilege of listening to our neighbor’s television. The sound loud enough for us to almost make out the words.

The next morning, any kindness I possessed flew out the sliding glass door. Grumbling and griping took up residence in our room. I planned to share my woes with the front desk and talked it over with Ray.

On our way there, I asked my hubby, “Now what did I tell you I was going to say.”

“You are going to ask for earplugs.”

Those wise words diverted a disaster and calmed me down. And they taught me that whatever I’m going through (good, bad, or indifferent), I can use it as a teaching moment. Thank You, Lord!

MORE WRITING NEWS: Please put these dates on your calendar!!!

The e-book of Pigtails and a Tool Belt is .99 cents until the end of November.
The e-book of Waltzing with a Grease Monkey is .99 cents December 15 - January 10
The e-book of Early Birds (Book #1) will be FREE January 4 thru January 8.
 
Go to www.janettafudgemessmer.com and order them. They’d make great Christmas presents. And you can see my updated website. 
 
Until next time…

 
Blessings!

Janetta Fudge Messmer - Author of Christian Comedy

“Turning Life Into Comedy”

Tuesday, October 27, 2020

 SURPRISES GALORE!!!

Can I just say I’ll be a happy camper when the 2020 election is over? Thank goodness the ads will end too!!! The mute button on our remote is wearing out from continual use. HA!!!

Enough talk on the elections. How about I share a SURPRISE with you? I hinted about this in one of my newsletters, but now it’s happening. My devotional book, God’s Grace in our Grumbling, will be out sometime in November. Stay tuned. Photo above is the cover (I hope).
 
And as always, funnies go along with anything I do. I gave Ray two titles and asked, “Do you like HOPE – Christ in the midst of our Chaos OR God’s Grace in our Grumbling.” No hesitation, Ray replied, “The grumbling one, it’s more you.”
 
Here is one of the devotionals. Enjoy!!!

    Be More Like Jesus

Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love,
just as Christ loved us… (Ephesians 5:1)

 
I’ve come to the conclusion that LIFE is just one event after another. Most occurrences are ordinary and don’t take much thought to get through them. Others are more of a thrill ride. Thankfully the latter doesn’t happen often.
 
The one that got my (and my hubby’s) heart racing was when we found a tick on our precious pooch, Maggie. Before we called 911 (a definite thought), we removed the tick from Ms. M’s shoulder and headed to the vet’s office.
 
Much to our surprise, they seemed unconcerned about the tick, but they said we need extra medication to ward of the pesky varmints. Before I gave them a curt answer, I thought to myself, why isn’t she protected from them already?
 
My Type A personality husband must have had the same movie playing inside his head. He turned to me and I watched him take a couple of large breaths before he said, “You can go ahead and handle this. I’ll be in the car.”
 
It’s funny when Ray gave me the reigns, I calmed down. Maybe the Lord knew I didn’t want to spend the weekend in jail for overreacting. Maybe I realized it didn’t matter whose fault it was. What did matter - the situation called for me to be more like Jesus than a half-crazed lunatic.
 
In the end, Maggie did not have any adverse effects from the tick, but we learned a lesson that day – be more diligent in her care.

 
Questions:

  1. How do you view your life most days – Ordinary or Eventful? 
  2. Do you tend to blame others when things go awry? Have you ever considered you may have had some fault in the situation too? 
  3. How do you handle a crisis when it occurs? Are there extra breaths needed for you to calm down?

Prayer:
Thank You, Lord, for helping me when LIFE seems to defy nature. Thank You for answering my unspoken prayers. Help to look inside of myself at those times and not blame others. Oh, and Father, can I ask you something else? Why did you create ticks? Can’t say I see much point to them. Just saying! AMEN!!!

Until next time…

PS: If you email me your thoughts on my latest project, there’s another surprise awaiting one of you.

Blessings!

Janetta Fudge Messmer - Author of Christian Comedy

“Turning Life Into Comedy”

Tuesday, September 29, 2020

 TRAVELING ON THE ROAD AGAIN 

As I’m writing this blog, we’re boondocking outside of the Badlands National Park in South Dakota. The landscape looks like the moon and this morning we woke up to a herd of bighorn sheep. What an amazing place. I have to say – it’s nothing like I expected. 

 

Yes, we are on the road again. We left Fort Collins, Colorado the day after it snowed (see above picture). Thankfully, the white stuff didn’t stick on the roads, but the weather going from the 90s one day and waking up in the 30s the next, told us it was time to go.
 
And you may have gathered from my first paragraph, we headed to South Dakota. WHAT A BEAUTIFUL STATE!!!
 




 
Friends joined us on our travels for a few days. They spent time with us in our RV. Maybe we’ll convince them they need an RV. We can only hope. I told them, “The characters in my books travel with their friends and it works for Ben, Betsy, Rose, and Larry. What do you think?”
 
I never got a definitive answer from them, but the four of us took in all the sights South Dakota had to offer: Mount Rushmore, Deadwood, Spearfish, Sturgis, and our final stop – Wall. We had to see the world-famous Wall Drug Store.
 
And it was worth the drive. We spent close to four hours in the drug store, perusing all it had to offer. I don’t know if the others felt it, but time slowed down as I walked around. The store seemed to capture the simple pleasure of life and I wasn’t sure I wanted to leave it behind.

 

Have to leave you with a funny. Before we left the drug store, we ventured outside. The minute I spied the oversized rabbit – my feet flew up the steps for a photo op. After I’m up there, I start to wonder if there’s a weight limit. Mr. Cottontail is still intact and rideable for another ‘child’.
 
WRITING NEWS:
It’s time I share the latest. I am in the process of editing Book #5 in the Early Birds series. WOOHOO!!! The working title is: We Have a Mystery Birds. It is full of funnies, a mystery to solve, and even a touch of romance. Projected release date: February 2021.

 

PS: Is it just Ray and I, or do other people take goofy pictures? Share one or two of your outrageous ones. It’ll make me feel better. HA!!!

Blessings!!!

Janetta Fudge Messmer - Author of Christian Comedy

“Turning Life Into Comedy”

 

Friday, August 28, 2020

                     SUMMER FUN, SWIMMING POOLS, AND FRIENDS 

Who was your best friend as a child? What did you do together? Are you still friends?
 
I asked these questions to the participants of the writing class I taught in Arizona last year. As always, their tales entertained all of us. Here is the piece I wrote and it’s another of my get-to-know-me-stories:

My friend, Bonnie, estimates we’ve known each other for sixty years. I say it’s closer to fifty-eight. I’m pretty sure our moms wouldn’t have let us play outside at four years old. Whatever our age, we’ve been friends for a very long time.
 
We lived in the same neighborhood and when our mothers let us, we’d play outside all day. One such day, Bonnie and I decided we needed a swimming pool in my backyard. I hurried inside and grabbed two spoons from the utensil drawer.
 
She and I got to work and we weren’t two spoonfuls in and my mom yelled out of the kitchen window, “Janetta, bring the spoons back in here. Bonnie, you go on home.” We listened and scurried in the direction she told us to go.
 
Through the years Bonnie and I kept in touch, but a strange thing happened to us in 2002. Of all the places Ray could get a job, he got one in Houston. The city where my friend and her family lived. Once again we lived near each other and made many more cherished memories, which included our husbands.
 
How about you? Do have a friendship (or friendships) in your life that’s stood the test of time? Tell me about them. You know I love to hear your stories.
 

WRITING NEWS:
I’m working diligently on my next project, but for right now mums the word on what it is about. Trust me, you’ll be pleasantly surprised when you find out what I’m up to. Or I hope you are. HA!!!
 

OTHER NEWS:
Please pray for the fires in Colorado, California, and all the other states experiencing them. Also, pray for safety for the people of the Gulf Coast with Hurricane Laura heading their way. Thanks!!!

 
Until next time…

Blessings!!!

Janetta Fudge Messmer - Author of Christian Comedy

“Turning Life Into Comedy”

Monday, July 27, 2020

Image result for July 4 Pictures Free

Hope you had a wonderful 4th of July. Thank you for sharing your mouse stories with me. I laughed at them but they creeped me out at the same time. HA!!! It’s amazing how a little creature can raise so much havoc and cause so much fear in human beings. Yikes!!!

 

No, I’m not going to talk about the pandemic, but the reason for the picture - I wanted to show how my hubby wears his mask when he’s eating. Sort of reminds me of a unicorn with a flat horn.

As you can see, Ray didn’t appear to care how he looked. He was enjoying a delicious crepe on our travels to Breckenridge for a few days with my cousins. And, as usual, wherever my hubby and I go, mayhem seems to follow us to our destination.

Image result for Free Picture of A Bear

This isn’t the actual bear, but it was obvious one visited while we’re at the cabin. My cousin (Jenny) had gone outside the first afternoon we were there. She came back in and said, “the door to the shed is open.”

My other cousin (Ann) replied, “I must not have gotten it shut all the way when I took the trash. The lock is a little tricky.”

Ray jumped into the conversation, “I’ll go check it out.”


After supper he ventured down to close the door and Jenny went with him. They came back inside and she was laughing. “While Ray walked down to the shed, he’s waving his arms. ‘Bear, if you’re in there, go away. I’m shutting the door.’”

Oh, how I wished she’d taken a video of Ray’s theatrics.

Fast forward to the next morning. After I got up, I heard Jenny and Ann outside on the back deck and I joined them. I don’t have one foot on the deck and my cousin said, “Take a look down at the shed.”

I glanced in the direction Jenny pointed and not four feet from the shed door (which was still closed) sat a white garbage bag. The contents of it were strung all over the ground. I stood in complete shock. THERE WAS A BEAR!!!

Ray came out on the porch, and Jenny instructed him to look at the sight below. For a solid fifteen seconds, my hubby’s mouth stood wide open. I’m sure, at that moment, all of us wondered how close he’d come to encountering the bear.


We’ll never know, but we know our time in Breckinridge was an adventure that we’ll talk (and laugh about) for years to come.

SIDE NOTE: Ann alerted her son (who owns the house) to tell him the bear news. He called and asked, “Is Ray packing?” Turned out when she VOICE texted him, the phrase “Ray shut the door.” came out as “Ray shot the door.” We all had a good laugh at the miscommunication.

Have you had an experience with a wild animal? I’d love to hear your stories.


WRITING NEWS:
The e-book of my latest release - Waltzing with a Grease Monkey - is .99 cents until July 31. Don't miss out!!! Here is the link for it: www.amzn.to/3hJfJAL

Until next time…

Blessings!!!

Janetta Fudge Messmer - Author of Christian Comedy
“Turning Life Into Comedy”

Tuesday, July 07, 2020

GETTING TO KNOW ME
 

Part of me wanted to touch on the current events in my newsletter, but since I write comedy I decided to do something different this month. I’m going to tell you a little bit about myself.

Yes, you can go to
www.janettafudgemessmer.com and read my biography, but it doesn’t give you the whole story of what makes me who I am - the behind-the-scenes Janetta.

Most of you know I taught a writing class in Arizona last fall. Each week I gave the attendees writing assignments they’d read to me the following week. I joined in with them on the homework. One question I posed to them: What are three of your greatest fears?

I’m positive I didn’t blink before I came up with my #1 fear. MICE! (And the reason for the Mickey and Minnie pic above). Here is the story I penned for class.

I’ve been told that they are more scared of me than I am of them. And knowing this doesn’t change my opinion of them. So you can imagine how thrilled I was when we found mice in one of the houses we lived in.


Unbeknownst to me, our home on Sedge Way was prime real estate because we backed up to an open field. Another lure to our home, we had a dog and never thought once about putting her food in a closed container.

That’s until Ray pulled out the fridge one day and we found the floor covered with dog food. I have to stop and talk about the size of said morsels and I ask you, how does a tiny mouse (or mice) transport something a sixty-pound dog eats?

Trust me, they can. And, Mickey and Minnie can also hide dog food inside of a couch. They dug a hole and stashed their winter buffet right next to where I sat every night to watch TV. The thought of them being there still creeps me out.

To get rid of them, we tried the old standby – cheese. When it didn’t work, we found our mice loved peanut butter. I don’t remember now how many we caught, but Ray was in charge of that part of the operation. All I know, I didn’t want those pesky varmints inside my house.

Oh, and about the dog food. We went out that afternoon and bought a trash can with a lid on it. Problem solved.

Did I mention I HATE MICE? And in my world, they don’t climb stairs either.


WRITING NEWS:
1) BLESSING BIRDS (Book #4 in the Early Birds series) is FREE 6/29 thru 7/3. Click on the link and get a copy.  www.amzn.to/2Xj66gW

2) The e-book of my latest release - Waltzing with a Grease Monkey - will be .99 cents July thru end of month. Here is the link for it: 
www.amzn.to/3hJfJAL
Until next time…
Blessings!!!

Janetta Fudge Messmer - Author of Christian Comedy
“Turning Life Into Comedy”

Wednesday, June 17, 2020

ON THE ROAD AGAIN...sort of!

  
     
WE'RE ON THE ROAD AGAIN…sort of. Actually, we left Arizona (finally) and are camped in Ft. Collins, Colorado for the summer. With everything going on in our world, we felt it best to find a stationary place for a few months.

And what better place than camping close to the mountains. When Ray’s not working at the campground, and I’m not writing or trying to organize our life, you’ll find us enjoying the beautifulness surrounding us.

That is when everything opens back up…whatever that will look like.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve had trouble concentrating since all this pandemic started. Usually, my unsettledness has to do with me listening to too much news, but not this time. Thirty minutes (or so) is my limit each evening because that’s all my psyche can take.

And another reason for my shortened TV time – I don’t want to put all my trust in people (media, government, science, etc.). Yes, they’re giving me much-needed information (and am thankful for it), but I find too much of it takes my eyes and heart off of the Lord.

I need to keep my focus on the Great Physician. The Bible tells us, “Do not be anxious for anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

When I pray, my worries about what might happen fade away. In its place is a calm assurance that all things will work out. It may not be how I would have orchestrated it, but He’s the One in charge – not me.

Not to talk politics, but trust me, you don’t want me to run this country. But then again…that’s something to think about. A comedian for President. Who needs foreign policy when they’re laughing because I’ve put a whoopee cushion on their seat?

Need I say more? Take care and stay safe. And more than anything else – pray and trust in the Lord.


WRITING NEWS:
If you didn't see last month's newsletter. The title of my new book is: Waltzing with a Grease Monkey (it will release July 1, 2020). Here is the book cover. I LOVE IT!!! Hope you do too. Let me know. 

Until next time…
Blessings!!!

Janetta Fudge Messmer - Author of Christian Comedy
“Turning Life Into Comedy”

 
            
Life is still a bit crazy, but I have some great news. I’ve picked the WINNERS from last month’s contest. For those who emailed me and gave me ideas for a title, thanks a bunch.

The winner of the $10 Amazon Gift Card is Laura B. And the winner of the $50 Amazon Gift Card is Linda A. She gave me the title for my newest book. It’s perfect!!! Congratulations to both of the winners!


Oh, and I almost forget to mention the title. It is: Waltzing with a Grease Monkey. And to excite you even more - here is the book cover. I LOVE IT!!! Hope you do too. Let me know.

By the way, your eyes are the first to see the masterpiece. I believe my publisher hit it out of the park (as she always does).
 
Other than picking winners for my contest, there’s not much excitement to report on our end. We’re still in Arizona. A few days ago, we took a drive and visited Lake Pleasant, just north of Phoenix (see pictures).                                                                                                                                                                                             



   
               
         



Other than staying at home, what have you done to pass the time in this quarantine? I finished editing my book, have played way too much on my tablet, read and took three (or more) walks per day. 
And this is the reason for the excessive walking. I’m eating way too much. Not just cinnamon rolls. This picture is an example. I forgot to take one of the gooey goodness. Our logic behind buying them - we’re helping keep small businesses alive during a rough time.

WRITING NEWS:
Since everything is closed down, or postponed, I will not find out in May if Pigtails and a Tool Belt is a Selah Award winner. The conference and awards banquet is slated to happen in November. I’ll let you know.

Blessings to everyone. Stay safe out there!!!


PS: I’ll leave you with a funny. Concerning last month’s contest, one of my readers suggested I send the winners toilet paper. If this goes on much longer, it might be necessary. HA!!!

Until next time…
Blessings!!!

Janetta

Tuesday, March 10, 2020

HELMETS - HEARTS - AND WHO KNEW


Okay, I know the last part of my title doesn’t start with an ‘H’ word, but humor me for a moment. :) 


Maggie is rooting for my team!


What about them Kansas City Chiefs? Wherever you live in the USA, you probably heard me screaming. Oh. My. Goodness. All I ask next year; can they win without causing my heart to skip more than one beat? Best Super Bowl ever. WOW!!! 

 

Happy Valentine’s Day. This year Ray and I are celebrating bigtime. We're going to WhatABurger for breakfast Valentine morning. I can't wait for their biscuits and gravy. Yum!

You know I love to hear your stories - tell me about one of your special Valentine’s Day gifts. For me, I still have a gift Ray bought me years ago. It’s a little pink bear and when you squeeze its tummy, it says, “You mean everything to me.” 


Now I'll explain the “Who Knew” in the title of my newsletter. The park we’re living in participates in a pool tournament. I signed up and never had a doubt I’d play on the B Team. I don’t know how, but I beat the three top contenders. Me and another lady played on the A Team. Who knew???

If the Chief's Super Bowl win excited me, their victory dimmed with my surprising wins. I wish I had a video of the games. I chuckled when I overheard one of the players say, “I knew Janetta was serious. She concentrated and was quiet.

The picture below is the poster my cousin made up for me before the tournament. FYI: We didn’t "kick butt"
, but fun was had by all.

                              


WRITING NEWS:
This month I'm getting busy. The editing has begun on my latest novel. Yeah!!!

Until next time…

Blessings!!!


Janetta Fudge Messmer - Author of Christian Comedy

“Turning Life Into Comedy”