Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Melancholy In The Big City

Melancholy: sadness, unhappiness, the blues (I'll have a Blue Christmas without you - sing it to me, Elvis).

Melancholy describes my mood right now because Christmas isn't one of my most favorite holidays, but I love the reasons for the season (Jesus' birth, songs, decorations). Now before you send out a psychiatrist to see if I have multiple personalities, let me try to explain my love/hate relationship with all gift giving holidays.

I guess I can blame it on my overactive wanter. I wanted and still want more presents than what I receive on any given birthday, anniversary or on Christmas morn. Years ago Mom and Dad didn't fulfill my insatiable need for hoards of presents and I've carried this into adulthood and my overactive wanter is now my husband's problem. It's sad, I know.

And R tries hard to fulfill my desires. He listens attentively when we're out shopping. If I say I like something, he takes it as his own. He'll go back and buy it for me and wrap it for the appropriate occasion. But when I open the item I didn't think I could live without, sometimes I'm disappointed. I remember saying I loved it, but two months later, it's not what I really wanted.

Outwardly I smile and thank him for the present I'm holding, but I know my internal reaction to his gift giving is totally unfair. I should look beyond my feelings and realize the time and attention R spent on me was given with all the love in his heart.

Maybe I need to let go of this overactive wanter business and become an overactive giver. Isn't that really what this wonderful season is all about? Oh, and Mom and Dad, before I forget, thanks for giving me all the things I ever needed. Especially your love for me and each other throughout the years.


Friday, December 01, 2006


NANOWRIMO (National Novel Writing Month) is over for another year. I made my 50,680 words at 6:20 last night. The official clock on Chris Baty's site said I still had 5 hours and 40 minutes when I wrote THE END, but I and my story were finished. YIPPEE!!!!

I mentioned in an earlier blog (I hope I did) that my Monday night writer's group did it last year. Instead of doing it in November when all the other NANOWRIMOS do it, we did it in June. The only difference from this year to last - the novel I finished yesterday is a salvagable (I'm almost sure of it). Last year's novel could be penned as a dumping ground for pent up frustrations and unexpressed anger at whoever might come in contact with my main character (loosely based on myself). Sounds like a book you'd just love to pick up for some light reading, doesn't it. NOT!!

The characters in my latest novel (oh, I love saying those words) resemble sane, very likable, and funny people. None are based on any particular person I know. I didn't want anyone to recognize themselves in my book and get mad if they didn't look anything like they see themselves. I'm thinking I got a little too deep for my own good in that last sentence.

Anyway, I had to write and tell you I'm finished with this project. Chris Baty says to let it simmer for a month before we begin the editing process. I'm not sure I can wait that long, but I'll try. In the mean time, I'll continue writing and submitting. Already today, I sent off two short stories. Busy, busy, busy.

Merry Christmas to everyone!!!!!