GETTING TO KNOW ME

 

Part of me wanted to touch on the current events in my newsletter, but since I write comedy I decided to do something different this month. I’m going to tell you a little bit about myself.

Yes, you can go to www.janettafudgemessmer.com and read my biography, but it doesn’t give you the whole story of what makes me who I am - the behind-the-scenes Janetta.

Most of you know I taught a writing class in Arizona last fall. Each week I gave the attendees writing assignments they’d read to me the following week. I joined in with them on the homework. One question I posed to them: What are three of your greatest fears?

I’m positive I didn’t blink before I came up with my #1 fear. MICE! (And the reason for the Mickey and Minnie pic above). Here is the story I penned for class.

I’ve been told that they are more scared of me than I am of them. And knowing this doesn’t change my opinion of them. So you can imagine how thrilled I was when we found mice in one of the houses we lived in.

Unbeknownst to me, our home on Sedge Way was prime real estate because we backed up to an open field. Another lure to our home, we had a dog and never thought once about putting her food in a closed container.

That’s until Ray pulled out the fridge one day and we found the floor covered with dog food. I have to stop and talk about the size of said morsels and I ask you, how does a tiny mouse (or mice) transport something a sixty-pound dog eats?

Trust me, they can. And, Mickey and Minnie can also hide dog food inside of a couch. They dug a hole and stashed their winter buffet right next to where I sat every night to watch TV. The thought of them being there still creeps me out.

To get rid of them, we tried the old standby – cheese. When it didn’t work, we found our mice loved peanut butter. I don’t remember now how many we caught, but Ray was in charge of that part of the operation. All I know, I didn’t want those pesky varmints inside my house.

Oh, and about the dog food. We went out that afternoon and bought a trash can with a lid on it. Problem solved.

Did I mention I HATE MICE? And in my world, they don’t climb stairs either.

WRITING NEWS:

1) BLESSING BIRDS (Book #4 in the Early Birds series) is FREE 6/29 thru 7/3. Click on the link and get a copy.  www.amzn.to/2Xj66gW

2) The e-book of my latest release - Waltzing with a Grease Monkey - will be .99 cents July thru end of month. Here is the link for it: www.amzn.to/3hJfJAL

Until next time…

Blessings!!!

Janetta Fudge Messmer - Author of Christian Comedy

“Turning Life Into Comedy”

E-mail: janettafudgemessmer@gmail.com
Website and sign up for newsletter: http://janettafudgemessmer.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/janetta.fudge.messmer
Twitter: https://twitter.com/nettiefudge

ON THE ROAD AGAIN...sort of!

  

     

WE'RE ON THE ROAD AGAIN…sort of. Actually, we left Arizona (finally) and are camped in Ft. Collins, Colorado for the summer. With everything going on in our world, we felt it best to find a stationary place for a few months.

And what better place than camping close to the mountains. When Ray’s not working at the campground, and I’m not writing or trying to organize our life, you’ll find us enjoying the beautifulness surrounding us.

That is when everything opens back up…whatever that will look like.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve had trouble concentrating since all this pandemic started. Usually, my unsettledness has to do with me listening to too much news, but not this time. Thirty minutes (or so) is my limit each evening because that’s all my psyche can take.

And another reason for my shortened TV time – I don’t want to put all my trust in people (media, government, science, etc.). Yes, they’re giving me much-needed information (and am thankful for it), but I find too much of it takes my eyes and heart off of the Lord.

I need to keep my focus on the Great Physician. The Bible tells us, “Do not be anxious for anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

When I pray, my worries about what might happen fade away. In its place is a calm assurance that all things will work out. It may not be how I would have orchestrated it, but He’s the One in charge – not me.

Not to talk politics, but trust me, you don’t want me to run this country. But then again…that’s something to think about. A comedian for President. Who needs foreign policy when they’re laughing because I’ve put a whoopee cushion on their seat?

Need I say more? Take care and stay safe. And more than anything else – pray and trust in the Lord.

WRITING NEWS:

If you didn't see last month's newsletter. The title of my new book is: Waltzing with a Grease Monkey (it will release July 1, 2020). Here is the book cover. I LOVE IT!!! Hope you do too. Let me know. 

Until next time…

Blessings!!!

Janetta Fudge Messmer - Author of Christian Comedy

“Turning Life Into Comedy”

E-mail: janettafudgemessmer@gmail.com
Website and sign up for newsletter: http://janettafudgemessmer.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/janetta.fudge.messmer
Twitter: https://twitter.com/nettiefudge

 

            

Life is still a bit crazy, but I have some great news. I’ve picked the WINNERS from last month’s contest. For those who emailed me and gave me ideas for a title, thanks a bunch.

The winner of the $10 Amazon Gift Card is Laura B. And the winner of the $50 Amazon Gift Card is Linda A. She gave me the title for my newest book. It’s perfect!!! Congratulations to both of the winners!

Oh, and I almost forget to mention the title. It is: Waltzing with a Grease Monkey. And to excite you even more - here is the book cover. I LOVE IT!!! Hope you do too. Let me know.

By the way, your eyes are the first to see the masterpiece. I believe my publisher hit it out of the park (as she always does).
 

Other than picking winners for my contest, there’s not much excitement to report on our end. We’re still in Arizona. A few days ago, we took a drive and visited Lake Pleasant, just north of Phoenix (see pictures).                                                                                                                                                                                             

   
               

         



Other than staying at home, what have you done to pass the time in this quarantine? I finished editing my book, have played way too much on my tablet, read and took three (or more) walks per day. 

 

And this is the reason for the excessive walking. I’m eating way too much. Not just cinnamon rolls. This picture is an example. I forgot to take one of the gooey goodness. Our logic behind buying them - we’re helping keep small businesses alive during a rough time.

WRITING NEWS:
Since everything is closed down, or postponed, I will not find out in May if Pigtails and a Tool Belt is a Selah Award winner. The conference and awards banquet is slated to happen in November. I’ll let you know.

Blessings to everyone. Stay safe out there!!!

PS: I’ll leave you with a funny. Concerning last month’s contest, one of my readers suggested I send the winners toilet paper. If this goes on much longer, it might be necessary. HA!!!

Until next time…

Blessings!!!

Janetta

HELMETS - HEARTS - AND WHO KNEW

Okay, I know the last part of my title doesn’t start with an ‘H’ word, but humor me for a moment. :) 

Maggie is rooting for my team!

What about them Kansas City Chiefs? Wherever you live in the USA, you probably heard me screaming. Oh. My. Goodness. All I ask next year; can they win without causing my heart to skip more than one beat? Best Super Bowl ever. WOW!!! 

 

Happy Valentine’s Day. This year Ray and I are celebrating bigtime. We're going to WhatABurger for breakfast Valentine morning. I can't wait for their biscuits and gravy. Yum!

You know I love to hear your stories - tell me about one of your special Valentine’s Day gifts. For me, I still have a gift Ray bought me years ago. It’s a little pink bear and when you squeeze its tummy, it says, “You mean everything to me.” 

Now I'll explain the “Who Knew” in the title of my newsletter. The park we’re living in participates in a pool tournament. I signed up and never had a doubt I’d play on the B Team. I don’t know how, but I beat the three top contenders. Me and another lady played on the A Team. Who knew???

If the Chief's Super Bowl win excited me, their victory dimmed with my surprising wins. I wish I had a video of the games. I chuckled when I overheard one of the players say, “I knew Janetta was serious. She concentrated and was quiet.

The picture below is the poster my cousin made up for me before the tournament. FYI: We didn’t "kick butt", but fun was had by all.

                              

WRITING NEWS:
This month I'm getting busy. The editing has begun on my latest novel. Yeah!!!

Until next time…

Blessings!!!

Janetta Fudge Messmer - Author of Christian Comedy

“Turning Life Into Comedy”

E-mail: janettafudgemessmer@gmail.com
Website: http://janettafudgemessmer.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/janetta.fudge.messmer
Twitter: https://twitter.com/nettiefudge

Author Andrea Patten Wants You to Love Your Inner Critic

Please help me welcome an author I met at the Amelia Island Book Fair in February of this year. 

Like many of us, Andrea Patten has been writing books — at least imaginary ones — since she could first hold a crayon. A favorite place to play was her grandmother's desk with its endless supply of scrap paper from Gram's classroom projects. “I’d spend hours on my stories, adding colorful covers and carefully stapling each masterpiece together. I loved writing “by Andrea Patten” in my best version of fancy handwriting on those covers.”

One of the places her writer’s journey frequently took her was to ghostwriting. So much for the byline, huh?

“I worked for several people whose vision was far more inspiring than their ability to share it. I’m not sure how it happened the first time, but it was never uncommon for my immediate supervisor or her boss to stop by my desk and ask me to "have a look" at a speech, an article, a letter, or a memo before sharing with a wider audience."

But those experiences helped her learn to write in different styles and voices: a CEO’s speech to motivate the staff required different writing chops than persuading legislators to provide funds for homeless teens.

"I wrote curricula and reports, financial disclosures and direct mail pieces... Brochures, classified ads, grant applications, staff bios, and company histories. It was excellent training and helped me appreciate the impact good writing can have," says Patten.

Eventually, Andrea started to discover her voice as a writer. It’s honest, straightforward, and often funny.

"I worked in human services for a long time and wanted to continue to help people. I realized that part of that might come from sharing some of the fascinating ideas I’d picked up along the way. What Kids Need to Succeed is a book I wrote for parents, but it includes wisdom from the business world: when setting goals and making plans, start with the desired outcome in mind. Part of that book's purpose was to help parents stop getting discouraged with day-to-day challenges and think about the bigger picture: raising future adults."

Her latest release has similar roots. “Everybody talks about the Inner Critic, but most of the available advice doesn't work. You can try to ignore “that voice” until you’re blue in the face but that's not enough: the name of the game is to get it on your side… to make it an ally. You can learn to use its energy to your advantage.”

And, to anyone who has struggled with an Inner Critic (or Inner Editor or Inner Bully) this is very good news, indeed.

Here's an excerpt from The Inner Critic Advantage: Making Peace With the Noise in Your Head by Andrea Patten

A few million years ago, when the inner alarm bell sounded, all stress was short-lived: prehistoric primates either responded and escaped or became part of the predator’s buffet. Period. Either way, intense stress did not last long.

Modern stress is different. It’s cumulative — and from the lizard brain’s point of view — relentless. From the jarring sound of the alarm to the gloom and doom news report that accompanies morning coffee, there’s no break. Commuting. Car horns. Caffeine. Kardashians. And that’s even before you get to work.

Most of us don’t pay attention to regular, vanilla stress. It gets stuffed because we think we should be able to handle it. We tamp it down or ignore it and assume we should be able to just power through.

Can you imagine the impact this has on the primitive part of the brain? From that perspective, we’re ignoring death threats which tends to make it cranky. Louder. More insistent. No wonder it wants to take over — you’re not paying attention and giving it relief.

Remember, the survival center’s job is to alert us to potential threats: it is NOT for deep thinking, nuance, delicate wording or high-level negotiation.

Continuing to ignore the needs of our primitive brains can lead to chronic stress, making us unreasonable and sometimes causing arguments. I don’t think that’s what it intends to do — it’s really just the old brain’s way of trying to get your attention.

To help you. When trying to get along with people at work or seeking compromise with a loved one, we need to get that thing tucked in.

Despite the problems it has caused for you, there’s much to respect and appreciate about that old brain. It:

• loves you and wants to keep you safe,

• is part of your hardwired survival mechanism,

• constantly scans your environment for threats, and 

• will not back down until it has been heard.

It takes hard work and a special sort of mindfulness to turn an Inner Critic into an ally, but do you have what it takes to turn it into an advantage? 

I don't know about you, but I'm going to take time to answer Andrea's question. I need to turn my Inner Critic into an ally! Thanks Andrea for sharing with us today. 

Please check out her books at: https://goo.gl/NhjDBF

Website: http://www.andreapatten.com/

Blessings!

Janetta