Wednesday, February 19, 2025

 

  

A MONTH FILLED WITH...
(Cream cheese and a short story)
 


I'm start February off with a funny: Ray ran to the store for the ingredients for tortilla roll-ups for our football party we’d attend later that day. He came home and showed me the above photo. He reasoned, since the cream cheese needed to soften (sooner than later) for the roll-ups, he'd speed up the process by putting it into his phone holder. And once again, you'll never hear me say that my hubby isn’t resourceful. HA!!!

 
Oops, I forgot to mention I’m teaching Creative Writing classes again this year. That's me standing in front of my students. For those who are new to my newsletter, in the class I help people get started writing their memoirs (or whatever they’re interested in).
 
In the first class, I always give the students a list of prompts to help them get started. As an author, I know how hard it is to begin writing anything. A blank screen doesn’t scream, “Fill me with wonderful words.”
 
Prompts give me the push I need, and I hope they spark an idea with my students, as well.
 
Here are a few examples:
Write a story about a Class Reunion.
Write about a vacation gone wrong.
What is the most important lesson you learned from a friend?
Most injuries aren’t anything to laugh about. Tell about the funniest way you’ve been injured.
 
If you’re interested, I can send you the list of prompts. They’re sure to ignite your creative juices. Let me know.
 
 
For those who have been around me for a while know it’s impossible for me to not talk about my team going to the Super Bowl. It was anything but SUPER for my Kansas City Chiefs this year (insert sad face). But I have to congratulate the Philadelphia Eagles on an outstanding game. They deserved to win.
 
I have recovered from their loss, but the half-time show--that will take me a while to recuperate from. I do have a suggestion. Next year, if they have another rapper that they include Closed Caption. It'd help us follow along to know what the artist is singing about.  
 
And for your viewing pleasure (you’ll have to have Facebook to see it), click on this link - https://www.facebook.com/share/r/18oCMWxX92/. You’ll find the halftime show…but with a different voice dubbed in. It’s quite entertaining.
 
 
Pigtails and a Tool Belt is ON SALE the month of February for .99 cents (e-book). Get your copy today! 
 
And before I go, here is a short story I a few months ago. Hope you enjoy!
 
WHERE AM I?
 
As I scramble out of bed in the hotel, I bump into a wall. My nose catches the brunt of it. It’s then I notice the darkness. It fills every inch of the room. I raise my hand in front of my face and can’t see it. “What is going on?”

Panic fills my five-foot-two-inch frame as I reach for the lamp on the side table. But my fingers smash into a cabinet. Confusion seeps in along with the fear. All I want to do is get away from whatever is going on.

I rush to the end of the bed; then, it’s as if the floor gives way. Lurching forward, I face-plant into another hard surface. Feeling around on the wood, I find a knob. I pull on it, and the door opens.

Even though my instinct tells me not to, I reach inside and touch items made of cloth. The urge to scream tries to overtake me, but I clamp my hand over my mouth. “I don’t want to alert anyone until I know where I am.”

But everything is telling me I’m in my RV. But how is it possible? I parked it inside the closed-in garage a week ago in Idaho. I’m in Colorado visiting family, and we’re skiing at Breckinridge. “Linda, is this a joke? Because if it is, it’s not funny.”

My sister didn’t answer, and all I know is I HAVE TO FIND MY PHONE. If this is my camper, it’ll be where I plug it in. I plead with the Lord, “Please, let it be on the counter so I can turn on the flashlight and find out if I’m crazy or not.”

A dozen steps forward, I hit the sink cabinet with my hip. “And to my left is what I’m looking for.” My hand lands on it, and I push the side button. The front screen illuminates, but instead of me on the back of a 3-wheel trike, I’m standing at the foot of the Eifel Tower.

“What is going on?”

I turn on the flashlight and glance around. It’s not my hotel room. It’s my RV. But I see the marred place near the front door, fixed. I move the beam of light behind the TV, and it’s repaired. I open the bathroom door to see a brand-new shower door.

“This has to be a dream, but I’m seeing it with my own eyes. Where am I?”
I return to the living room and garner the courage to open the blind. The brightness makes me blink, and I fall back into my recliner. Its softness envelopes me, and I drift off to sleep.

“Debbie, wake up. I saw you blink. Wake up.”

I try to open my eyes, but they’re like they’re glued shut. Then I hear beeping, and a putrid smell almost makes me throw up. Finally, I open my eyes and say, “Where am I?”

“You’re in the hospital. You skied into the side of an RV.” 
 
Until next time…be kind! 

Janetta Fudge Messmer - Author of Christian Comedy/Romances
“Turning Life Into Comedy!”
E-mail: janettafudgemessmer@gmail.com
Website and sign up for the newsletter: http://janettafudgemessmer.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/janetta.fudge.messmer
Twitter: https://twitter.com/nettiefudge

Wednesday, January 22, 2025

 

(Can you guess what this is? See below!) 

HAPPY, HAPPY NEW YEAR
(Two birthdays and more stories!)
  
Welcome, everyone, to 2025. So far, so good on my end. Just so you know, I’m partial to January. It’s my birthday month, and on the twenty-fourth, it’s Early Birds b-day. Nine years ago, Winged Publication published my FIRST book. Praise the Lord and pass the turtle soup.
 
How about I tell you some little-known facts about my first book:
  • Early Birds is not my first book. Yes, it’s the first one published, but Chords of Love wins the prize for #1. I wrote it seven years before Early Birds. After it came out, I dusted off Chords of Love and published it in March 2017.
  • I have the lyrics to On the Road Again by Willie Nelson in the book. Did you know you need to get the okay to use them in a book? Thankfully, I did. And after I paid Sony a chunk of change, I’m legal to use it.
  • In the summer of 2015, I went to visit my mom and help her make the transition to the nursing home. While I’m there, I’m putting the final touches on Early Birds and asking my mother questions about her life, which I put in a book for my siblings. FYI: They love it.
  • The Lord had been on this book journey, but He showed up big time after EB came out. I’m a newbie and wondered how I’d market it. One day it hit me. I could do a class to help other people tell their stories, just like my mom had shared hers. We contacted RV rallies and libraries (where we’d be traveling), and they loved the idea. These are the same classes I teach in Arizona and wherever we land in the summer. God is amazing!
  • And the final fun fact. Even though I write comedy, and my intention is for people to laugh while reading my books, I want the Lord’s message to ring out from the pages of my books. Here is a review that touched my heart: A really good clean read – I really enjoyed this book and appreciate an author who will write a good Christian book. The story line is about the restoration of marriage and what God can do in your life when you try! You will enjoy the humor as well as the character!
 

 
 
There you have the rest of the story. And before I forget: Early Birds Adventures (5-book series) is ON SALE this month for $1.99. And it has a NEW COVER! I love it! 

JANUARY FUNNY:
I can hear you asking, “Why is there a picture of tortillas in Janetta’s newsletter?” Because what happened with them is too funny not to share. Here’s the story: Ray and I were invited to a party, and the host warned us before we arrived that we’d play some games.
 
We arrived, and a few minutes later, our host brought out two bags of tortillas. Mike explained it was the latest TikTok sensation called Tortilla Slap. Two people played each round. Each would take a drink of water and hold it in their mouth. Then they’d do the rock, paper, scissors game.
 
Whoever won that part got to slap the other person with one of the tortillas. The goal was to get the person you were slapping to laugh and spit out the water they still held in their mouth. If they did, you had the victory!
 
We didn’t participate in the fun, but being a bystander entertained us enough. So, if you’re looking for a fun party game, give this one a try. I guarantee it will bring lots of laughs. You can thank me later. And if you do it, video it and send it to me.
 
Until next time…

 
PS: If you've read this far - the top picture is a hand-painted COOKIE. Can you believe it? Friends gave us two, and they were almost too pretty to eat. In the end, we succumbed. They were scrumptious. 

Janetta Fudge Messmer - Author of Christian Comedy/Romances
“Turning Life Into Comedy”
E-mail: janettafudgemessmer@gmail.com
Website and sign up for the newsletter: http://janettafudgemessmer.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/janetta.fudge.messmer
Twitter: https://twitter.com/nettiefudge