Tuesday, March 06, 2012

Maggie (the almost perfect pooch)

Thought today was a good day to introduce Maggie Mae Messmer to our family and friends. Ms. M (as we like to call her) wrapped us around her little black and white paw the minute we saw her at the shelter. We had to bring her home.

But before we could do that, we had to go to PetsMart and spend large sums of money for all the accessories we needed to bring our new dog home. Crate, leash, dogfood, toys, chewies, a poop bag dispenser (which hangs on her leach – oh how I wish I had invented that), and all the poop bags your tiny canine will ever need.

Now we were ready for pet ownership. But R. and I learned within the first week that 13 years without a four-legged friend dulls your senses and puts you right back into the new pet owner category again.

In the style of David Letterman I’ll list the Top 5 Reasons You Know You are a New Pet Owner.

#5: You know you are a new pet owner when:
You can sit in a wine bar and talk about your pooches poop.

#4: You know you are a new pet owner when:
You’ve had the dog for two weeks and you’ve already spent $500 (check written to shelter, two crates (the first one she broke and escaped from), three beds (the first two she ate), one plush toy, which said “I Love You” and she chewed up. All this done by the most adorable dog named Maggie.

#3: You know you are a new pet owner when:
You’ve set your computer’s webcam to see what her behavior is like when she’s inside her crate while you’re at work.

#2: You know you are a new pet owner when:
You do research on the Internet AFTER you’ve purchased a dog treat and find out it is a part of a bull you never thought of as consumable.


#1: You know you are a new pet owner when:
You set your alarm at an ungodly hour and actually get up and take your dog for a walk. This is because hubby read on the Internet that you should wear your dog out before crating them. Refer back to #2 – this did not work. She is still trying to destroy her second crate.

Yes, you might call us crazy for putting up with Maggie’s shenanigans, but stop and look at her picture again. Could you resist a face as cute as hers? I don’t think so.

Love ya,

PS: More to come. I’m certain Ms. M. has more up her paw.